WWWWOW
by MadPiper
Summary: A 'Dear Abby' column, featuring Ron's responses to questions posed by fellow Hogwarts students. Yes, some are rather humorous. RH NOW FINISHED
1. Issue 1

Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR is the copyright holder.

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This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ron Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a Ron/Hermione fic. For any readers familiar with the Speaker's Corner on CITY-TV, Ron's responses take the form of those common to the Devil's Advocates.

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_**WWW.WOW**_

_**Wacky Wise Wizard's: Words on Women:**_

****Welcome readers, to the first installment of my advice on women. In this column, I will answer boys' questions about girls, and even some girls' questions about boys. Just owl your letters to: _The Hogsmeade Herald_. Now, on to my first letter:

"Dear WWW: Why are women so difficult to understand? Signed, The Roaring Lion."

Dear Pussy Cat: The human male was created so perfectly, so flawlessly, and so intelligently (in general), there was no mystery he could not solve. So, someone decided to give him one.

"Dear WWW: There's a girl that keeps pestering me and bothering me about my hair, my homework, etc. And she keeps calling me lazy. Can you help me with this? Signed, Wandering in the Dark."

Dear Without a Clue: This is a simple solution. I have a lot of practice with this. Just tell her that there's more to life than homework and just go about enjoying Quidditch, exploding snap, or whatever else you enjoy doing. But don't ignore her, it's liable to come back and bite you in the ass. If she starts lecturing, just nod whenever she pauses, and when she's finished, just agree with her and you'll be fine.

That's all for now. See you next week and keep sending in your questions.

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Please review. If you like, send your own question to "WWW" in your review. We will do our best to answer them. Your penname will be posted next to your question. Please don't be insulted by any of Ron's answers, this is all in good fun. Note: Questions sent to "WWW" should preferably not come from any of the main characters in the books, especially from Ron. Pretend you are the student writing the letter (your penname will be your alias).


	2. Issue 2

Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR is the copyright holder.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ron Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a Ron/Hermione fic. For any readers familiar with the Speaker's Corner on CITY-TV, Ron's responses take the form of those common to the Devil's Advocates.

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_**WWW.WOW**_

**_Wacky Wise Wizard's: Words on Women:_** Issue #2 ****

__Welcome back, readers, to my second installment of Words on Women. On to our first letter:

"Dear WWW: There's a girl I like, and she seems to like all guys, but she won't go out with me. What's wrong with me? Signed, The Giant Serpent."

Dear Stinking Snake: Take a bath, and get yourself a brain. Women generally don't like men with the intellect of a troll. It's ten times worse when he has the body odour of one to match.

"Dear WWW: Why is my brother such a git? Signed, Fiery Fairy."

Dear Spooky Sparky: Perhaps your brother just doesn't realize his importance to the members of your family. Undying devotion from his siblings would undoubtedly aid him in realizing his extreme importance to you. After all, you took the trouble to write about him, he must be important to you. Barring that, get him a girlfriend, preferably one with nice brown hair.

"Dear WWW: I kinda like this girl, but she's really eccentric and I'm really shy. How should I ask her? Signed, Toadstool."

Dear Frog Prince: Take my advice. Grab the bull by the horns, take life by the throat, seize the opportunity, live for moment. Just ask her! The worst she can do is say no, laugh at you, tell all her friends, and you'll probably die of embarrassment.

"Dear WWW: Why do people read these stupid, moronic advice columns? Signed, Dragonfire."

Dear Unfathomable Ferret: Well, you seem to be reading it. Doesn't that make _you_ a moron? You see, some people read this to get a good laugh, or maybe even some advice. Perhaps if you took your head out of the sand, you'd see that some people have real problems and would appreciate my candour on the problems. Not everybody has more money than brains. I have found that wealth and stupidity go well together, and you seem to have a wealth of stupidity.

Thanks again, readers. Until next time, I remain, WWW.

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Please review. If you like, send your own question to "WWW" in your review. We will do our best to answer them. Your penname will be posted next to your question. Please don't be insulted by any of Ron's answers, this is all in good fun. Note: Questions sent to "WWW" should preferably not come from any of the main characters in the books, especially from Ron. Pretend you are the student writing the letter (your penname will be your alias).


	3. Issue 3

Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR is the copyright holder.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ron Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a Ron/Hermione fic. For any readers familiar with the Speaker's Corner on CITY-TV, Ron's responses take the form of those common to the Devil's Advocates.

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_**WWW.WOW**_

**_Wacky Wise Wizard's: Words on Women:_** Issue #3****

__Welcome back, readers, here is my third installment of Words on Women. On to our first letter:

"Dear WWW: Why do girls always cry when I kiss them? Signed, Drowning in Kisses."

Dear Forlorn Puckerer: Do you eat a lot of onions? Perhaps your breath is so bad it brings tears to their eyes. Perhaps you might also be a terrible kisser. It just might be that you are so special that the girl is crying because she knows she is not good enough for you. Perhaps try someone else, maybe with long brown hair. They tend to be nice girls.

"Dear WWW: Why do boys ignore me when I ask them something? Signed, Invisible (Teen Typist)."

Dear Missing Keys: Perhaps you are not as invisible as you think. It might just be that there is a special boy out there who thinks just like you. Either that, or you are just plain too smart for your own good and they feel they cannot possibly answer any question you might have. BTW, I wonder, do you have brown hair?

"Dear WWW : I know this boy who likes a girl. He doesn't say anything to her about it cause he feels she is too good for him. The only way he can show his affection for her is by arguing with her. She is just as bad, she likes him and constantly nags him about his school work and neatness. He sees her as bossy, but she only does it cause she cares. This ends up in big rows all the time, and myself and his best friend are tired of being in the middle. What should we do?" Signed, Exhausted Fairy.

Dear Fairly Frustrated Friend: Just get together with his friend and arrange a stunt that will get them alone together without realizing it. Maybe talk to her where she doesn't know he is listening and get her to tell you how she feels. The other thing is to get her to appear to be seeing some else. Maybe his best friend (make sure the best friend isn't interested in her first), then see if he is jealous. Always a surefire way to tell. As long as the guy isn't a red head. They don't fall for stuff that easily and are very insightful. He would not have any difficulties spotting the signs of love.

Until next time friends. Adieu.

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Please review. If you like, send your own question to "WWW" in your review. We will do our best to answer them. Your penname will be posted next to your question. Please don't be insulted by any of Ron's answers, this is all in good fun. Note: Questions sent to "WWW" should preferably not come from any of the main characters in the books, especially from Ron. Pretend you are the student writing the letter (your penname will be your alias).


	4. Issue 4

Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR is the copyright holder.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ron Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a Ron/Hermione fic. For any readers familiar with the Speaker's Corner on CITY-TV, Ron's responses take the form of those common to the Devil's Advocates.

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_**WWW.WOW**_

**_Wacky Wise Wizard's: Words on Women:_** Issue #4 

__Welcome back, readers, here is my fourth installment of Words on Women. On to our first letter:

"Dear WWW: Why does the boy I like seem SO PIG HEADED, he can't even agree with me on anything for fear it will actually make him look like he was thinking? Signed, Brown Bookworm."

Dear Insufferable Know-It-All: This boy probably has no idea you like him because you are too busy telling him off for even the slightest of transgressions. I bet you bug him about doing his homework, revising more, the way he plays games instead of reading and the like. Try to learn from his example. I imagine he is quite full of a love of life and is more than willing to share it with you. Just loosen up and go with the flow. Telling him _how you feel _might actually make him see that you like him.

"Dear WWW: My best friend likes a girl, the same girl likes him, EVERYONE KNOWS IT except the two of them. They fight constantly and I am at my wits end. Signed, Green Lantern."

Dear Green Goblin: I answered a letter in last issue very much like yours, could you be this mysterious best friend? In case you missed it, here is what I said to her: {Dear Fairly Frustrated Friend: Just get together with his friend and arrange a stunt that will get them alone together without realizing it. Maybe talk to her where she doesn't know he is listening and get her to tell you how she feels. The other thing is to get her to appear to be seeing some else. Maybe his best friend (make sure the best friend isn't interested in her first), then see if he is jealous. Always a surefire way to tell. As long as the guy isn't a red head. They don't fall for stuff that easily and are very insightful. He would not have any difficulties spotting the signs of love.} If you are the mysterious best friend, just tell him where you stand and that he has to tell the girl or he'll lose her forever and she'll go off and date some famous international Quidditch star. Maybe suggest he write her secret admirer notes to gauge her response.

Dear WWW: I really like this girl, and I think she likes me, but we have a problem. I cannot say anything for fear her overprotective brother will try to end my life. What am I to do? Signed, Seeking Solitude."

Dear Rude Tude Dude: BAD IDEA, never mess with a girl who has an overprotective brother. You have every right to be afraid, in particular if she is a redhead. They are pretty and have lots of spunk, but the big brothers are generally big on saving their little sister. I suggest looking at a nice brunette, preferably one who is smart. 

Well that's it. Another week gone by. Keep sending your questions of woe and I'll keep giving my golden advice.

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Please review. If you like, send your own question to "WWW" in your review. We will do our best to answer them. Your penname will be posted next to your question. Please don't be insulted by any of Ron's answers, this is all in good fun. Note: Questions sent to "WWW" should preferably not come from any of the main characters in the books, especially from Ron. Pretend you are the student writing the letter (your penname will be your alias).


	5. Issue 5

Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR is the copyright holder.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ron Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a Ron/Hermione fic. For any readers familiar with the Speaker's Corner on CITY-TV, Ron's responses take the form of those common to the Devil's Advocates.

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_**WWW.WOW**_

_**Wacky Wise Wizard's: Woes of the Week: **Issue #5 _

Yes, I changed the name. Too many unhappy stories here. I'll change it back if we get some real good questions about snoggin and stuff. Wow, more mail, let's see what our readers' woes of the week are:

"Dear WOW: I like this guy (guy #1), but a good friend of mine likes him too. She is going out with someone else right now, but she told me a long time ago that she really, really, really likes guy #1. Now I'm not sure what to do. I feel that if I were to tell guy #1 that I like him, my friend may feel betrayed, though she is going out with someone else. Would it be selfish to say something? Or do I have a right to? Signed, Deeply Confused" **{from Remus is Mine}**

Dear Woeful, Wanton, and Waitin': Well, if she really liked guy #1 why didn't she ask him instead of going with the other guy? She made her bed, now she has to lie in it. As for you, well, go for him. He must be a redhead, only redheads have women fight for u.. them so much. Usually the culprits have brown hair too.

"Dear W: I really like this girl that has a boyfriend that's a lot better than I am and she also has 5 protective older brother. How do I get her to like me instead of the other guy and steer clear of her brothers all at once? Signed, Almost Squib" **{from Ginny LongBottom}**

Dear Shark Bait: Don't worry chum. Girls with big brothers are the luckiest girls in the world. I know one in particular who is very safe knowing she has so many older and VERY reasonable brothers to look out after her. As for your problem, well look for another girl. Generally for your type of situation I would think a girl who is somewhat dreamy in her conduct, what some might call spaced out, she'll be less likely to notice any of your shortfalls in attention and be very supportive. Just don't get trapped into going on expeditions for imaginary animals.

"Dear w: OK I know these two people. They are best friends along with somebody else. It is SO obvious they are in love but all they seem to do is fight! Weather the topic is homework or their friend or food! They seem to fight about it all. You names it, they've fought about it. How do I and H- er I mean my friend, get them to freakin go out!? Signed, Anna" **{from Anna Malfoy}**

Dear Ann Orexia: Jeeze, the same question. I get at least one a week. Either Hogwarts is full of couples that are too blind to notice their destined loves, or we have a lot of people complaining about the same two twits. Well, maybe you should handcuff them together for a while till they notice each other, or glue a note to their door stating each one's undying love for the other. Maybe you should just put them out of everyone's misery, including mine.

"Dear w: My friends are always getting boyfriends or have guys interested in them. They tell me just to be myself and guys will come to you but I am being myself with all my might and no guy even look twice at me. How can I get guys to notice me but still be myself? Signed, Help!" **{from mimibaby}**

Dear 2nd Helping: Well, your friends do have a point. If you started acting like someone else, the guys might like _her_, but it would not be you. If the guys are not interested in you, then it's their loss not yours. I have plenty of experience with not being noticed, believe me. Try to move into a new circle of friends, without alienating the old ones. Just start hanging out with a few new people here and there, the more people you know, the more likely you will find someone who, perhaps, has a very handsome brother with nice red hair.

Well that's all I have time for now, I am off to play a new game I heard about called Swish Bucklers. See you next issue.

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**_First before you go any further, DID ANYONE SPOT THE PUN?_**

These little pearls will be kept short in order to keep them coming fast, unlike our other story which takes a lot more setup and proofreading. Thanks to all the reviewers and the questions submitted (notice we put your pen name in bold so we cannot be accused of plagiarism. We like to give credit where credit is due.

Please review. If you like, send your own question to "WWW" in your review. We will do our best to answer them. Your penname will be posted next to your question. Please don't be insulted by any of Ron's answers, this is all in good fun. Note: Questions sent to "WWW" should preferably not come from any of the main characters in the books, especially from Ron. Pretend you are the student writing the letter (your penname will be your alias). PLEASE do not be offended by anything you see between the dotted lines, that is Ron speaking. We only write what we believe he would say. Swish Bucklers is a cool event on the MXC tv show.


	6. Issue 6

Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR is the copyright holder.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ron Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a Ron/Hermione fic. For any readers familiar with the Speaker's Corner on CITY-TV, Ron's responses take the form of those common to the Devil's Advocates.

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_**WWW.WOW**_

_**Wacky Wise Wizard's: Woes of the Week: **Issue #6 _

Can you believe the audacity of this Gabby? Me, _mysonginical_ or whatever it was. Here I am trying to help my fellow men out here and she gives me this grief. HA! well I bet it's because she has been dumped by a guy and wants to get back at all of us so I'll forge ahead with my answers this week.

"Dear W: There is this girl in my year who always expresses her opinions on certain things, i.e: house elves. Well anyways, one of her friends always seems disagree with all of her actions, and they fight about it all the time. Does this mean that they despise each other? Or love each other to death, like everyone else thinks? Signed, Concerned Friend." **{from phredtheflyingmonkey}**

Dear Confused-As-I-Am : Is this the SAME TWO PEOPLE _AGAIN_? Well I must say, having someone who thinks she's right all the time gets very annoying. It's made worse by the fact that she usually is. This guy, obviously not a redhead, should just go with the flow and maybe just one day out of the clear blue sky, go up and kiss her right in front of everybody. That would surely shut her up.

"Dear W: Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups? If you're at a restaurant 'they all suddenly get the urge at the same time and leave us sitting there like dorks'." **{from Tamira Lune}**

Dear Anonymous Loon: There is a real easy explanation to this question. Girls need time to talk to brag about how great their boyfriends are and how each one's is better than the rest. The girls who have the redhead boyfriends have the hardest time. They have no idea where to start because they are so great. They could ramble on for hours. You find brown haired girls do this the most.

"Dear W: Ok, let's say I was getting snogged by this one guy on the train. Hard. Really hard. Well there is this boy I had met a couple of days earlier and got know him really well. He found out somehow, and some girl just declared her love for him. He says he can't decide who to go with. I think he is saying it just to get back at me. How should I get him to pick me? And before you turn on me, The guy on the train started it! Signed, randy and confused." **{from Gun Mage}**

Dear Scarlet Woman: Well the broom closet seems to be the answer to your question. Take the guy you like to a closet and let nature take its course. Oh yes! Wear something skimpy that goes well with your brown hair.

"Dearest W: Me and my girlfriend can't decide the best place at school to snog. She says McGonagall's room, but last time we caught detention. So I said the Whomping Willow. That time we both ended up in the hospital wing. What should we do?-A Boy Bruised, Battered, and In Need of Love." **{from TeenTypist}**

Dear Whomped and Stomped: Well, there are several places. Ask the house-elves to run interference for you and use the kitchen. There you get real hot snogs (hehehe). There is also in her dorm room. No one would guess a guy got into the girls' dorm, but getting there is your problem. The astronomy tower is also quite nice, just bring blankets. I even heard the Owlery can be a hoot.

I am adding a little poll to the end of my article. Each week we will ask another question, with the results listed in the next week's issue. Here is our first poll question:

What is the most attractive hairstyle for girls?

A) Short 

B) Long

C) Medium

D) Braided

E) Bushy Brown

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**_First before you go any further, DID ANYONE SPOT THE PUN?_**

These little pearls will be kept short in order to keep them coming fast, unlike our other story which takes a lot more setup and proofreading. Thanks to all the reviewers and the questions submitted (notice we put your pen name in bold so we cannot be accused of plagiarism. We like to give credit where credit is due.

Please review. If you like, send your own question to "WWW" in your review. We will do our best to answer them. Your penname will be posted next to your question. Please don't be insulted by any of Ron's answers, this is all in good fun. Note: Questions sent to "WWW" should preferably not come from any of the main characters in the books, especially from Ron. Pretend you are the student writing the letter (your penname will be your alias). PLEASE do not be offended by anything you see between the dotted lines, that is Ron speaking. We only write what we believe he would say. Swish Bucklers is a cool event on the MXC tv show.


	7. Issue 7

Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR is the copyright holder.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ron Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a Ron/Hermione fic. For any readers familiar with the Speaker's Corner on CITY-TV, Ron's responses take the form of those common to the Devil's Advocates.

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_**WWW.WOW**_

_**Wacky Wise Wizard's: Woes of the Week: **Issue #7 _

"Dear W: I finally got to have a date with this one boy that I've been liking since...the first day I met him. Now that we hit it off, and officially a couple, all we do is snog, snog, and snog. We never talk or anything. I'm not complaining that he's not a good kisser, he's very good, in fact, But when we don't snog (which isn't often), he avoids me. Whenever i say 'hi' to him, when we pass by each other in the halls, he just walks straight pass me. Does this mean that he is just using me to get some good snogging? Should I break up with him? Signed, Utterly Perplexed." **{from phredtheflyingmonkey}**

Dear Beautifully Bewildered: Well let's see, you can't snog and talk at the same time so shut up and kiss. As far as avoiding you, he is probably trying to conceal your snog-fests so as not to damage your wholesome reputation. Redheads have this tendency to protect their girls from innuendo. 

"Dear WWW: There's this guy who's an absolute prat. He's annoying, loud, rude, argumentative and lazy. But...I can't help it. I really really like him. I don't know what to do. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can go about getting the prat to notice that I even exist? **{from Punkin}**

Dear Annoying, Anonymous, and Audacious: This prat, obviously not a redhead, is probably too tired from the important things in life (like Quidditch, chess, and snowball fights) and needs some time to relax. He is not lazy, he is probably overworked and doesn't get enough sleep 'cause his best friend wakes him up every night. If you would listen more he probably wouldn't be so loud either, and rudeness can be attributed to his tired state. Perhaps more understanding from his friends would be better suited here. If you really like him, wear a skimpy outfit and walk over to snog him, that will definitely get his attention.

"Dear W, Why is it that guys never notice that we are girls, until there is some sort of dance or something, and they need dates? We have always been girls, but why do they not notice? **{from PureWhiteLilly}**

Dear Antagonistic and Anonymous: When else do we need them? Just kidding. Maybe some guys try to be so unsexist that we treat our female friends the same as our male friends, as equals. Since we see them not as male friends, or female friends, just as friends, it takes us time to adjust our thinking to look for dance partners and the like. 

"Dear W: Do you have a crush on anyone who happens to have bushy brown hair and begins with H...?" **{from angelofboox21}**

Dear Outrageous: What makes you think I have a "crush". Those are very immature and unmanly things to deal with. We men have desires and intentions, but never crushes, unless it's the type that deal with what Gryffindor did to Slytherin in the last Quidditch match.

"Dear WWW: I'm trying my hardest to get my boyfriend to notice me. But everytime I try to cuddle with him or snog him or something, he pushes me away. Now, I love him and we are betrothed, but I get the feeling he despises me. What should I do? Signed: Confused Princess Flower" **{from ER}**

Dear Pretty Plucked Petals: Well now you have a problem don't you? He must be a Slytherin, isn't he? My suggestion is that your beau only wants one thing from you. I'd drop him like a bad habit and find a nicer guy, perhaps one with red hair, to go out with and snog right in front of the old boyfriend. Make sure you don't just use the boy as a snog machine. Take care to keep his feelings in your mind also and don't just use him.

"Dear WWW: Okay, I wasn't sure I could talk to anyone about this so I've decided mabye you could help me out a bit. I like this guy, and I think (but I'm not sure) that he likes me. Except he won't talk to me and it seems like he's avoiding me. I think it has to do with the fact of my older meddling brothers who I think may have come to have a certain "chat" with him although they say they were just visiting me. It doesn't help that they always give him this funny look when they're around. You can can call me paranoid but what should I do about them (my brothers and him) how can I get him to talk and them to walk? HELP!" **{from Lilybug}**

Dear Lucky Little Lady: My my my, you are so very lucky to have older brothers to help guide you and keep your honour intact. I can only hope other brothers out there will take these guys' example to heart. As far as the boy goes, make sure he is nice to you (that's what your brothers are doing) and that he really is interested in you for more than a snog machine. If the guy can put up with all that from your brothers and still professes undying love for you, then he has passed the challenge. As long as you don't have red hair, you have nothing to worry about.

Results of last week's poll:

Short hair: 2 votes; long hair: 3 votes; medium hair: 6 votes; braided hair: 1 vote. The overwhelming winner with a total of 142 votes: BUSHY BROWN.

Here is this week's poll question:

What is the most attractive eye colour for girls?

A) blue 

B) green

C) grey

D) black (i.e. very dark brown)

E) chocolate brown 

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WOW so many questions this time. We really had a blast. Thanks to all the reviewers and the questions submitted (notice we put your pen name in bold so we cannot be accused of plagiarism. We like to give credit where credit is due. We also want to thank the reviewers who did not submit questions. Your support (from all but one) makes this much more fun to do. To the person who "did not laugh once", we are sorry you did not find it humorous, but maybe put in some helpful suggestions as to what you might think would improve it. We understand not everyone shares the same sense of humour and mean no offense in our question to you.

Please review. If you like, send your own question to "WWW" in your review. We will do our best to answer them. Your penname will be posted next to your question. Please don't be insulted by any of Ron's answers, this is all in good fun. Note: Questions sent to "WWW" should preferably not come from any of the main characters in the books, especially from Ron. Pretend you are the student writing the letter (your penname will be your alias). PLEASE do not be offended by anything you see between the dotted lines, that is Ron speaking. We only write what we believe he would say. 


	8. Issue 8

Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR is the copyright holder.

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This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ron Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a Ron/Hermione fic. For any readers familiar with the Speaker's Corner on CITY-TV, Ron's responses take the form of those common to the Devil's Advocates.

This is the penultimate chapter to the story. I hope you will love it and the final chapter.

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_**WWW.WOW**_

_**Wacky Wise Wizard's: Woes of the Week: **Issue #8_

Wow! More letters lets start this week's with an obviously delusional reader:

"Dear W: There's this annoying redhead and I think I really like him, but all we do is fight. He's so annoying and stubborn! We argue over the stupidest things. He thinks the most important things in life are Quiditch (the Canons if you can believe THAT), chess, snowball fights, and any girl that's not me. What should I do? Signed, Bookworm Who's Sick of Redheaded Prats **{from Teen Typist}"**

Dear Bludger Belted Bookworm: Redheads are never stupid or prats, they never argue, but discuss. Perhaps he is just trying to show you that there is more to life than books. Maybe he hasn't noticed you because he can never see you behind your stack of books you always carry. Oh! and one more thing THE CANNON'S RULE!

"Dear W. I am 17 years old and I have never had a boyfriend or been kissed. What the heck is wrong with me?" **{from Never been kissed()}**

Dear Never Fear: There are plenty of men out there that never have been kissed either. Perhaps you have just not met that special guy yet. I'm sure when you do meet him, his red hair will make you glad you waited.

"Dear W: There's this guy that I really want to snog. I've done everything I can think of to get him to notice me but it's like I'm invisible! Any ideas? Signed, Desperate and Unnoticed" **{from ER}**

Dear Kruising for Kisses: Well, I have always found wearing a short skirt, high heels and a tight top always gets guys to notice. If that doesn't work, just tackle him into a broom closet.

"Dear W: I have this...friend and she is starting to show signs of having a serious personal problem. She's got a crush on this guy--a sweet, generous, brave, honest, caring guy who knows how to treat a woman properly--and she's relatively certain that he feels the same way about her. But she's got this brother...well, a couple brothers, two or three at the MOST...who don't realize that she's not a child anymore and that she can take care of herself. Is there any advice you could give me to tell my friend so that she can tell her brothers to BUZZ OFF and MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS?" **{from: Diocletian()}**

Dear Buzzed and Baffled: Her brothers are doing what every brother should do. They are making sure the guy is serious about her and not playing games. If he stays with her and eventually stands up to them, they will know he cares about her. This guy sounds like a keeper to me. He must be a redhead.

Now the results of our poll: blue eyes 12 votes, green eyes 11 votes (CLOSE), grey eyes 3 votes, black eyes 8 votes. The overwhelming winner was chocolate brown eyes with 195 votes.

Next weeks poll: What hobby should interest the girl you like the most:

A: giggling over boys

B: admiring house Quidditch team keepers

C: divination (yuck!)

D: admiring master chess players

E: reading

In one final note, the next issue of WOW will be my last as I am getting bombarded with work. I have enjoyed this very much and will begin it again next year if time permits.

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The next issue will be the last one.

Please review. PLEASE do not be offended by anything you see between the dotted lines, that is Ron speaking. We only write what we believe he would say. 


	9. Last Issue

Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR is the copyright holder.

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This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ron Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a Ron/Hermione fic. Ron gets mushy here. 100% guaranteed premium fluff.

Final chapter for WOW 

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Early Saturday morning, everyone was sitting in the Great Hall having breakfast when the Post Owls started their deliveries. It didn't take long for those fortunate enough to subscribe to the Hogsmeade Herald to tear into their morning ritual to find out what WWW and Gabby had to say. They were all treated to a surprise. Many started to laugh, some looked utterly bewildered, while others, pretending to be goldfish, just pointed and stared. Hermione was the only one to move. First she yelled "YES!" and with tears in her eyes, jumped across the table, knocked him to the ground, and kissed him passionately for several long moments before she realized where she was and what she was doing. To say her face was red was an understatement. For the boy, it was very hard to tell where his hair even started. Everyone seemed to be watching the pair, save for a red haired girl and her green eyed beau. They were also locked in a passionate embrace. Between them, lying forgotten on the table, was this week's Hogsmeade Herald, open the the WOW article. It read:

_**WWW.WOW**_

_**Wacky Wise Wizard's: Wishes of Wonders: **Final Issue _

Last week's poll: What hobby should interest the girl you like the most:

A: giggling over boys......................................24 votes

B: admiring house Quidditch team keepers...12 votes

C: divination (yuck!)...........................................3 votes

D: admiring master chess players, there is only 1 vote that matters

E: reading............................................................. 1 vote

I started writing this article in hopes of finding a way for spineless git of a boy, to tell the girl of his dreams, that he fancies her. I have read some scathing letters, and yes, had fun with some people, but there was only one person I was really writing for, hoping she would see in these lines, who I was and how I felt. I have since come to the conclusion that she isn't as bright as everyone thinks she is, or was playing hard to get. Either way, I am not afraid to tell her, or anyone, how I feel. If she rejects me, then I must not be good enough for her. It would be embarrassing and I might be teased, but at least I was man enough to tell her.

_**HERMIONE, I LOVE YOU! WILL YOU BE MY GIRL? LUV YOU ALWAYS: RON**_

Now a note to a very special reader:

_**Fiery Fairy: GO FOR IT! Love Ron**_

To anyone else who I have not replied to yet, please have no fear. I will pass the letters to Gabby, whoever she is, and let her help you. 

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We hope you enjoyed the last article of WOW. We really wanted to end it on a romantic note. How did we do? Thank you for sharing this time with us and our work. It was so enjoyable and we looked forward to every review we got. We are now gonna take a few moments to thank you personally down below. 

Gun Mage: Thanks for the questions, Gabby will answer your final question

phredtheflyingmonkey: Thanks for the support and suggestions.

Daintress: Thank you so much for your question. Gabby will answer it. Finally a Padma Patil perspective.

Arwen Rayne: What an awesome question, Gabby will be sure to have words for you and thanks from us.

ER: Thanks for spending time with our story.

Remus Is Mine: As always, our friend and loyal supporter. You give us the courage to put to pen our thoughts and laugh at us for them :)

SilberEngel: Thanks for reading, glad you liked it. We must be Weasleys at heart ;)

mione grint: Thanks for the review and very unique question. 

Michelle Russ: Thanks for the review, we hoped you had fun.

Moonlit Kiss: What a naughty question. We had a blast reading it. Wait till Gabby answers. Thanks for spending time with us.

Annay: The reason you couldn't pick out some characters is because they were not characters taken literally from the book. the ones who were are easy to spot. We wanted to put a 3rd person sort of spin on some of the questions. Thank you for enjoying our work.

minty quill: Glad you enjoyed it.

Diocletian: Infamous? Perhaps notorious :). Thanks for the review.

Never been kissed: Thank you for your question. We hope Ron got the right answer for you.

TeenTypist: It was your question that got us thinking on exactly how we were gonna end this story. It needed to be mushy and romantic and show Ginny just what he is made of. Thank you I hope you like what you inspired.

Lilybug: Very interesting way to put a Ginny question. Thanks and we hope you had fun.

angelofboox21: Yes I guess you hit the nail on the head didn't you. Thanks for enjoying.

I lov Redheads w/ Fangs: Hope you enjoyed the giggles. We had quite a few writing that one. Nice nick.

PureWhiteLilly: Thank you for the fun we shared with you.

eedoe: Thanks for letting us know how much you enjoyed our little story.

mimibaby: Thanks for the kudos

GinnyLongbottom: Thanks for the time you spent reading and reviewing, hope you have time to look at our other work.

Robyn Dunbar: Thanks for the encouragement.

Anna Malfoy: Thanks for being a sport. Hope you enjoyed the rest.

Tamira Lune: Thanks for the bathroom question. It was a challenging thing to look into.

RonandHerm4eva: Thanks for the encouragement

Corvixen: Thanks for the glorious review. It meant an awful lot in a bad time.

eckles: We are happy you had fun.

A big thank you to all. Please check out Gabby's article GAG. **_The Lord The Lady and Luna_** is our main story and we look forward to hearing your reviews on it.


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